Packing Up And Lord Mayor’s Procession

So I’ve been pretty busy the last couple weeks or so packing up the rest of my house into 2 suitcases and selling everything. Selling things was the most annoying, I sold bigger items online on Gumtree and Facebook Marketplace and every single thing I sold there was hassle. People wanted more money off, wanted to collect things at really odd times, turned up late, they wanted things delivered when I’d put collection only, they couldn’t find my house, they couldn’t find my house even when I sent them maps with a place marker on. Don’t people get taught to read maps anymore? It was endlessly annoying to sort out between my last few shifts at work. The only painless transaction was selling my beloved car Goldie, a couple turned up to buy it who looked like Del boy and his wife, a real geezer. I opened the door and he said “Alright darlin?” after he went for a quick test drive he got out of Goldie, gave her a reassuring pat and said “pay the lady!” to his wife and they were off. Look at my suitcase…

It took about a good half an hour to get the zips shut to here… I found my first grey hair the other day and I am convinced this is why.

So finally everything was pretty much sorted, you might remember I had texted my Dad to see if he wanted to see me before I went. My Dad and I don’t really talk very often although we used to get on like a house on fire, I was a real daddys girl as a child and it was kind of a shame that we hadn’t seen each other for about 12 years. Anyway so he never got back to me with a date so I had given up, I texted him in the last week before I went (mainly to tell him off actually for not getting back to me) and to my surprise we did organise to meet up for lunch and it was so nice. I thought he’d have aged since I last saw him but he looked exactly the same and we got on like we’d never been apart. We went for lunch at a nice Portuguese restaurant and stayed so late chatting it was about 4pm when we left and my Dad got a parking ticket! Oops! So I was so glad we did that and hopefully we can talk a little more often now and have more of a relationship like we used to.

That night my lovely chum Sarah came to collect me and all my crap, the house was still full of stuff which I begged her to take (please Sarah, take my shoe rack, you know you want a shoe rack!). And she kindly dropped me off at my buddy Nancy’s house in Norwich. I also foisted my unwanted goods on Nancy, such as fridge scrabble where I left a special message for her boyfriend Tim (who is also our friend Joy’s brother) concerning her vegetarianism.

 The next day Nancy, Sarah, Joy and I took a trip into Norwich city because it was the Lord Mayor’s Procession.

So there was quite a lot of things on… I’m not sure why there was an octopus but whatever.

So we got a good spot to watch, but my god we had to wait, the procession was late because of some sort of running marathon thing so we had to watch these runners go back and forth for about half an hour. The mayor and his council buddies wafted about in their ceremonial dress and chains.

There were a lot of floats and dancers and bands.

Most of them were pretty fun.

A couple of them we didn’t understand though, one of them was a tractor and trailer and in the trailer were elderly people waving… who let them in it? I think they need to be more selective.

I felt sorry for the dancers and acrobats because they had to dance the entire length of the procession so they must have been exhausted.

After the procession Sarah, Joy, Nancy and I went to Nandos for some chicken and I saw my buddy Megan quickly and her sister because she had some coffee for me for a leaving gift (thaaannnkkss) so that was good.

Tim had been working nights so I didn’t get to see him but he left me a new addition to our scrabble and I left one back. Nancy and her family go to France every year but she was endlessly confused by the word escargot.

Kim’s Visit and Amsterdam Part 1

It’s that time again, my wife and I had our quarterly visit… seriously this visa is taking forever. Prisoners get to see their families more often than I do. We were meant to hear back on a date for an interview 2 weeks ago but the visa people are behind on their 6 week target so they have decided to allot themselves another 6 weeks whilst they enjoy our money, how lenient of them. In the mean time whilst we wait my dear Kimmy came to visit me in England.  In my mansion.

Ha. No, but we did go swimming and for afternoon tea. Look how fruity my tea was, just look at it.

Mmm. Other than that we just chilled out, had a nice walk and fish and chips one day, annoyed our cats AKA the fur babies.

And then we packed our carry-ons ready for Amsterdam where we flew from Norwich Airport. It was a fairly cheap flight so I was thinking pretty convenient, we won’t have to leave too early. There was one shop there. One. We checked in two hours before departure like it said to on the website and they had one shop to amuse us with. I was unimpressed, I was also unimpressed that they charged us a tenner for a development fee each without mentioning it when we booked. What the hell have they been developing?

Our plane was one of about 3 there and it was tiny. The whole airport had a ‘I have a mate that can get you one of those off the back of a lorry’ type vibe.

The flight itself was great though, it only took about half an hour and security in Norwich airport took about 5 minutes so… easy come easy go. We made it to Schiphol airport in Amsterdam which was pretty nice and luckily my lovely friend Sarah had visited the previous week and told us all about the GVB travel cards on offer. The public transport for Amsterdam with all the trams and trains and buses was excellent.

We dropped off our bags at our hotel which was this retro officers’ quarters at a naval base which had been sold and then done up in a 70s style which actually looked quite nice. We had a spot of lunch, by the by, the Dutch are a little obsessed with toast – it was on the menu everywhere. I’m not complaining, I enjoy a spot of toast but still… random.

After lunch we took the tram into the city, the weather was pretty rubbish the entire time we were there and whilst it didn’t exactly hammer down with rain there was a continual icy wind between flusters of fine snow and slush.

We stopped in at the Moco Museum (another tip from Sarah!) who have a large Banksy collection.

In general I loathe modern art, I’ve never gotten over my trip to the Tate Modern where the highlights were a flashing light bulb and a smashed up piano so my rule for art is this = if I can do it, it isn’t art.

Banksy is a favourite of mine however. I like that he’s from Bristol, which is near where I used to live, and sometimes his art has funny stories about run ins with the police for graffiti.

There was also some Salvador Dali in the Moco Museum, I’m not a great Dali fan but there was only a small Dali section.

After that we stopped off at a place called De Vier Pilaren which didn’t look too exciting from the outside but was amazing, we tried some dutch poffertjes which are little pancake bites only they’re soft in the middle. I cannot for the life of me pronounce poffertjes, I tried so hard but I just can’t do it.

A bit later, in the evening, we went for a little canal cruise with cheese and wine that my brother and sister got me for Christmas. My brother Charles was also in Amsterdam just before we visited so was full of tips as it is his fifth or sixth visit now. As the weather was so rubbish and the city wasn’t too packed with tourists the boat only had about 6 different couples on.

We had unlimited wine which was nice and I decided I would be in charge of Kim and my cheese tasting experience so it was conducted in an orderly fashion with much consulting of the little cheese leaflet.

It was still bitterly cold out and a little rainy but we were comfy and dry on the boat so it was quite nice actually… until we got out to wait for the bus back to our hotel haha.

Birthday Depression

I was 28 on Thursday, I’ve found throughout adulthood that my birthdays are fairly mediocre affairs that I don’t really look forward to anymore. I remember one year on my mum’s birthday she spent a lot of the day in bed and now that I’m climbing up to the big 3-0 I totally get it; birthday depression. Not only is the day a bit of a let down usually but you are officially one year closer to death. It’s also your annual chance to think about all the things you haven’t yet accomplished.

I think the main source of birthday depression is that through my childhood my parents made such an effort with birthdays and children are easily pleased so any day cannot possibly live up to a childhood birthday. My mum would fill our rooms with balloons and my dad would organise meticulously researched gifts. Also, I had brilliant birthday parties every year that my mum must have spent hours planning. Now the thought of a birthday party can seem a little bit more of a chore that involves lots of clearing up afterwards and as anyone who knows me is familiar with, tidying up is my least favourite activity. I think the second reason for birthday depression is that the older I get, the more English I become and the English love to complain, there’s few things I love more. Apart from cats. Cats are awesome.

So this year, especially as Kim isn’t on the same continent as me and all my family live ages away I decided to take the matter into my own hands to stave off moping and booked my self onto a venepuncture course, wild I know, and made dinner plans with some uni friends. On the plus side I feel slightly more accomplished now I can take blood (take note of the lovely fake rubber arms).

My uni friends and I went to Cosmos in Norwich where it’s a buffet sort of affair.

  

I think I pretty much ate my weight in food, which is saying something. I think the trick is to try a little of everything rather than pick one big meal.

Next time I think I’m just going to get all dessert and skip the main course because I’m an adult and I can do whatever the fuck I want to hasten diabetes.

  

After that we had a little walk around Norwich city because it was the Christmas light switch on.

I love Christmas as much as the next person but I can’t help but think mid November is a tad early for Christmas lights. Perhaps the city wants it’s moneys worth?

So that was nice and I got a lot of various vouchers and bits and bobs to stave off the birthday depression for another year! In other news we’re progressing a few more inches with the visa, I had to fill out a form that was very interested to know if I had committed genocide, wanted to work as a prostitute, was a communist, wanted to practice polygamy  or if I was a terrorist. I think if you answered yes to the last one then the follow up comment would surely be “but not a very good one”.

Gay Pride Norwich 2016

 My friend Tasha and I decided we’d go to Norwich Gay Pride this year and so we were all set to drive together when there was a huge accident on the main road to Norwich which closed it completely. Luckily Tasha knew an alternate route and we doubled back on ourselves, finally got to Norwich through the traffic, parked and made it to the Pride parade with about 4 minutes to spare.

A lot of people had dressed up or wore rainbow themed clothes, Tasha and I had rainbow temporary tattoos we wore on our faces (we’re cool).

The police made a real effort for Pride, including one of their cars that they got decorated. I liked seeing the gay officers march but I think it’d be good if nurses marched in the parade too.

There were a few companies who had employees marching which I thought was nice and they handed out free things. Lots of whistles and singing.

My favourite is always the rainbow dogs, I only saw a few with dyed fur this year though.

There was a samba band led by a man in a jungle tarzan-esque outfit dancing at the front and a clown float thing but Tasha and I thought there should be more music.

We followed at the end of the march to go and get something to eat and met two police officers who let us wear their hats for a photo so that was funny. I think the parade was longer than last year but there still needs to be more music and it’d be better to have nurses in the march as well as police officers.

Norwich Pride

 The other day I was thinking about how I was a bit of a shit lesbian because I’d never been to Pride (or to gay bar) and then I realised it was actually Pride this weekend so I asked my friends Nancy and Sarah to go with me. We got there early to browse through all the stores and we got some rainbow flags.

Then we took our place on the parade route.

And then a sea of rainbows!

It was so bright and a lot of people clearly made a lot of effort with their outfits.

We weren’t really sure what to expect but it was a fun environment.

Some of the people in the parade were from companies, and I know it’s controversial because some people think they shouldn’t use it as a forum for advertising but I personally like the free things and say hurrah for stickers, pens and free half chickens!

  The parade finished outside city hall and the samba band stayed there for a while.

Even the Norwich Lions at City Hall got dressed up.

There were lots of canine supporters too who all seemed really excited to be in the parade.

We all agreed that Norwich needs a dog parade. Cute!

Museum of Norwich at the Bridewell

I had an hour or two to kill in the city last week before meeting a friend and couldn’t think what to do until I remembered passing a small museum I had said to myself I’d visit some time. Luckily I got to the Museum of Norwich at the Bridewell an hour before closing time so it only cost £1 for the admission (score).

There was a lot of random stuff in there.

And to be fair for a £1 it definitely amused me for an hour.

 There was a few activities for kids too like dress up and crafts and games.

One side of my family is from Norfolk so I was trying to spot my last name on all the records.

And finally I did in the old apothecary section (hurrah!).

Either way, it was a nice way to pass an hour.

Fireworks in the City

It was a clear night for fire works for a change! They were held for free in the city from the Castle so a group of friends and I went to go watch them.

The area in front of City Hall was packed! We got drinks and hot dogs and then it was go time.

The music choice was a little odd… very Pitbull heavy…

It lasted about 15/20 minutes and then it was off on a bizarre pub crawl where we didn’t go into any of the pubs, the city was so busy the pubs were rammed full of people 3 deep at the bar so I remembered a random little pub round the corner and off we went for a chat and a white wine spritzer. Fun!

Two For Tea

My dear pal Crissy is visiting from Australia to get married and have a catch up with everyone so we met up the other day, look what she brought me… chicken flavoured salt… how clement.

As you know I love afternoon tea and we took a little trip out to Biddy’s Tea Room in Norwich.

It was really sweet in there, I loved the décor.

Foolishly, they seated us next to the cakes. We were tempted to pick berries off of the cakes secretly but we resisted.

I got a lavender scone with lemond curd and stilton and apple sandwiches which were so good but Crissy opted for a cheese scone and smoked salmon sandwiches.

They were so goooooood. And it only cost £18.95 for both of us, bargain!

Boxing Day

Well Christmas is over for another year and I got spoilt – just look at all my lovely gifts from my friends and family!

Pussycat enjoyed his gifts too, he sat happily in this little bandanna bib and then spent a good 30 minutes having an epic battle against a catnip fish that my sister sent him (we had to confiscate the fish and put it in the airing cupboard because it was wet where he’d been drooling over it!). He also ate a good deal of dreamies treats.

The boyfriend and I spent the morning at our house opening our stockings and gifts under the tree, then we made our way over to the boyfriend’s mum where we got waited on and had tasty dinner and games in the evening.

Today we went to shop the sales and hardly got anything, we were only in the city for about an hour and hardly anyone else was, it was dead! And it wasn’t surprising, the shops didn’t seem to have anything actually on sale!

El Taco Loco

Thursday I had a very rare day – a day off with no classes and no shifts to work. So I decided to go and have a little shop and I needed to get a poster printed for assignment and I went to the Chapelfield Mall here in Norwich. I decided to grab some lunch so I took a stroll up to the food court and discovered El Taco Loco!!

And it was empty?? How! Mexican food people, you’d choose boring McDonalds or KFC over some Mexican food? The problem is a lack of Taco Bells in England.

I had a tasty tasty burrito with a strawberry water and piri piri chips and oh my god, so so good.

If you haven’t been to El Taco Loco – go!!!