Return Of The Kimmy

So after 6 months Kim has returned to England for a visit. I got back home the day before from my latest agency stint and as Kimberly would get into Norwich for about 4pm it meant I spent the morning feverishly vacuuming the house in a half assed attempt to prove to my wife that I’m not a slob (although I am). All this cleaning was carried out whilst the kitties loped about watching me which I thought unfair as they cause most of the mess by shedding. My boy cat Barclay seemed a little distressed, he doesn’t like it when I behave unusually. I even took my car Goldie to the car wash, and they cleaned the inside of her too (I don’t have a hose so washing her myself is a bit of a problem). I did not know the footwell mats were black, I thought they were just old and worn not caked it dirt!


So Kim got held up in customs as per usual for about half an hour because that’s what our country does best instead of catching actual criminals, obviously. Luckily we foresaw this and she was armed with all sorts of paperwork and there was no issue. Kim was thrilled to be back, the cats were less thrilled when Kim ran after them trilling “babies!!” with her hands outstretched. Poor things.

The next day we decided to take a small trip to Pleasure Beach because my Mum had left us tokens and there was a Groupon offer. We went on the big wheel.

You could see pretty far over Yarmouth actually.

Of all the rides the pirate ship was particularly unpleasant as Kim gripped my arm and screamed the entire way through it until the end where I gingerly pried her claws out from my skin… This is still a kids ride right? There were mostly kids on it.

She did redeem herself with very good dodgem skills though.

All the spinny rides I sat on the outside because Kim is tiny but then the gravity throws you out and I was thoroughly squashed. But all in all the rides were fun.

Then we went for fish and chips which was tasty. And then…

We walked up tat street to the bank because somebody (cough, Kim) divulged to me that she had brought all of the money she exchanged for her dollars out with her. Yes. She had a small handbag full of one thousand pounds which she had even left on the floor during one ride. My face looked like Edvard Munch’s The Scream. We changed all her 50 pound notes for 20s (because no where likes accepting 50s) and then clutched the bag tightly for the rest of the day.

Before we went home we played mini golf where for a change I didn’t have to double the par, I think the key is not to keep score, I do a lot better when we don’t keep score. I was interested to see that the family ahead of us were some lesbians and their kids and they were terrible at golf too, I thought lesbians were meant to be good at golf? Why aren’t my special skills shining through?

In other news I’ve become very disgusting and have a small cold where I sniffle pretty much continually, I even bought a sniffy stick (my Mum’s terminology) which Kim thinks is really gross.

For dinner we finally got to drink our prosecco Tasha got us back in February when we got married.

And Kim’s dinner choice was a make your own pizza from ASDA… Simple things…


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