You know the junk magazines you get in the paper? Do you ever actually read them? If not, I think you’re in for a treat, here are some of my favourites….
Want a garden that is both tacky and glowing? Look no further than this Best Seller! Why, it is delightful, the ad says so – and so realistic that I thought I might have to call the RSPCB.
Not your cup of tea? Stick around I’ve got more – for the discerning customer, a pair of water proof pants that (you’ll be pleased to know) help to prevent odours and are quiet! I certainly like my pants to be quiet and I know you will too.
Still no? Well then allow me to introduce your new best friend, the high desirable hair net. It is so lightweight and comfortable you’ll never know you’ve got it on! Everyone else will because you’ll look like a twat, but you’ll be oblivious. Besides, they’re only jealous – don’t let them know that one size fits all or else they’ll be after yours!
Thank you Healthy Living Direct! I look forward to your next instalment.